I know it’s already August, but who cares? We moved the last two days of June, which means we spent July living in a new place. The move was not planned or expected, but has been quite a large blessing and relief to us in many ways.
July celebrated one year since my cancer diagnosis and surgeries. Happy to be cancer free now.
July also celebrated something else. It was our anniversary. 17 years. Not quite twenty, it’s not any official milestone, like 20.
People always say “Don’t get married too young!” and “Don’t have children too soon!” and all sorts of other things about marriage. Our world isn’t really totally sure about what marriage means it seems. I’m not going to claim expert status. My marriage isn’t perfect. It’s not even always fun, actually.
We we’re married young. I was 19. We started having kids 2 years in. Basically we grew up together. We weren’t very good at it for awhile. No one is at first. (Sometimes we’re not good at it now) The main thing though, is that we didn’t quit. Every year, every new life experience changes us and we have to learn all over again. I don’t take it for granted. It’s truly God’s mercy that we didn’t quit. Everything that they say drives people apart, really just made us stay together. Financial trouble? Who could afford to live alone? Kid stress and lack of sleep? Who wants to do that by themselves? Grief, anger, trouble with friends and family? I’m sticking with the one who knows the whole story from my perspective.
Too immature? We are growing up together. We are changing into those grown up people at the same time. I get to see the once hotheaded job-hopping boy, turn into the steady, provide for his family kind of man. He did that for me, and the children we have together. He knows me, the real me, I don’t have to hide a single thing. He still wants me. What’s more attractive than that? I can’t think of a single thing.
We’re learning how to be content no matter the circumstances. We’re learning to forgive. We’re learning that laughter is essential to life. Knowing those things makes us better people, better spouses, parents, employees, citizens. Money really is not everything. If you can pay bills and feed your family, you’re fine. If God can show me love and mercy, with all that I’vedone, then I can show love and mercy to my spouse. Love, mercy, forgiveness. Those are what life is really about.
I never learned any of that in college.
I’m sure glad we didn’t quit. It’s hard work, but it really is worth it.